Struggling...

I need to put pen to paper apparently - in a digital sense - as I laid in bed last night dead tired and wide awake... I had thoughts... 

It makes for tough mornings and without Carpool buddy to get my fanny moving - I'm leaving a bit later than I used to. But I am getting out the door at o-dark early still, it makes the drive alone not so bad.  Not so great either - but that is a whole other matter.

The title - I have come to recognize that I am indeed struggling with being alone - truly alone. Didn't realize just how much of a companion Shelby girl was - even when she was sleeping.  I miss her muchly; and I'm am indeed struggling with it.

I know she's a dog, and I get that I guess that is why almost every night next week I have something planned... even if Bubba ever manages to stay home regularly I'll still be out and about.

I make myself a promise that I have yet to keep to get to the gym with her gone - and still I don't.  I will strive to better (I solemnly swear I am up to no good).  Bubba is traveling again soon and I will pack up my bags and get things organized.  And be in bed before 10 PM, so I can stare at the walls earlier.  ;-)

Bubba and I are headed North this weekend - the old boy actually took a day off. I haven't nagged at him to contact his family - if he isn't motivated to do it - why should I poke that bear?  and that is just what he is - a big grumpy bear these days.  Maybe a day off and unplugged will mellow things out a bit.   Or not. 

I have a lot to get done tonight - and I'm tired, which is never a good combo.  I did get lodge stuff done this week - unplanned meeting but it is documented and done.  Generally if I don't get that stuff done right as I'm thinking about it - I don't do it at all.  Work has been busy which is good, keeps the day moving. 

I will power through - I think off and away this weekend will be good for all of us.

Enough - I have things to get done and an hour left in my work day... that I get paid for... then home to to all the other stuff my life demands.  Thanks for listening.