Wednesday was certainly - a HUMP of a day...

Work has been a bit nuts, and having meetings at 12,1, 2, and 3 yesterday afternoon was not my idea of a good time...

And it wasn't.

I bagged out of last and surprise! 3PM meeting at 3:30 saying I had to get home for an appointment.  I did - but didn't tell them that it was at 6 PM.  Hey - there are days that could be a problem.

Welcome to DC Traffic.  Speaking of DC Traffic...

As I was sitting in the usual backup - contemplating life and the car in front of me... the car behind me apparently decided that he needed to meet my bumper - up close and personal like.  Yeah, he hit my car...

Now trying to get over 3 lanes of traffic and pulled onto a shoulder in rush hour with people trying to get around you -- oh what fun... not so much.

So, exchange of information, looking at the minor damage of my SUV and the major dent on his front end - it could have been worse.  Called Bubba - he pointed out all the things I didn't do.  The insurance lady was much nicer... but she's paid to be.

So insurance issues tended, went and got my 8-10 week make the gray go away appointment - then it also turned into make my hair go away appointment.  I cut 3 inches off my hair, added some bangs and surprised the heck out of everyone this morning.  That was fun!

I'm going through a "dear god will some one answer me??"  phase of our job search... its very frustrating and frankly upsetting that at least you could get a screw you lady email... but I have sent out a good dozen job applications and I have gotten bubkus.   Shakes a girl's confidence - it's probably why I let her cut my hair so short!

 OR not -- I dunno I like it - this morning was great - wham bam done.   I have played with it all day - or what's left of it.

All right off to finish my day early get my car looked at and then enjoy a hour with the lady who is taking over my girl's group stuff when I'm gone.. which based upon the job search will be some time in 2020.

shoot me

Debbie Downer on a Tuesday....

The weekend went well, got stuff done on Saturday and became the lump that the couch ate on Sunday... I was just not in the mood to deal with it any more... so I took the day off.

and did laundry and went grocery shopping and picked up a few things... and laid in bed until 8 AM and watched a movie - showered at noon... it was a good day.

Monday was nutso at work, then home, make my dish for the pot luck dinner, get to said dinner, and then meeting, then home, the gifts I mailed on Saturday arrived Monday. Color me shocked!

Talked to my sister last night who tells me my new updated resume isn't getting the job done either... so I am once again bummed about having to deal with this - but I updated it again, and it didn't take much so that's done.

Lord I want this done -but if it all happens tomorrow -- well then I'm screwed.   so -- time I guess is on my side.  I SO hate this nebulous feeling.  I need a list and a plan and stuff.. and plan and a list and oh yeah a job - a house....

Just shoot me.

and I wonder why my clothes are shrinking.  Stress eating is so much fun...

And the wallow is over - I am getting back to the job I have which today is point, click, wait, for the network to allow my access through, wait a bit longer... then do something.  SO much fun.

I've been hungry since I got up this morning... heavens help me.  I packed my lunch and I need to stick to that.  I know what I'm having for dinner... I have chicken and cheese and taco sauce - quesadillas it is!

All right-y them.... back to my working list of actual work stuff to get done today.

I need chocolate.

Stress relief in terms of adult beverages... yeah that will work.

As I ranted yesterday work has been a bit nuts; today we had an upper level management meeting today - and of course boy-wonder-gov guy had all the middle mangaer notes - but did he share??

Did he do the damn job?  The answer to both those questions is -of course- NO.

I saw an email sent at 10 PM last night -- "hey where is your fancy sheet?"  I open another project's fancy sheet -- and oh - hum - we don't have this... scramble quickly - populate data, a few edits and wham, bam, thank you from no one - it's know.   Kiss - My - Grits.

Well he did say thank you when he strolled in at 9:20 before a 9:30 meeting when I showed him the completed new sheet... seriously dude??

On another note - I have a weekend, unplanned, alone and well actually planned - but I am giving serious thought to less de-clutter and more de-counting of wine bottles... but I think that is residual governmental accounting talking -- or not.

I am freaking out regularly as my position here has been advertised as opening... and there are people ready to jump into my currently occupied chair.  I've said it before and I will again - I hate looking for a new job and this is freaking me out that I have no transferable skills - my company boss asked about Morgantown, WV -- *sigh*  45 drive.  Oh-just shoot me.  That frankly is a last option- maybe - we'll see...

OH GAWD - this is why I'm laying awake at midnight half the time.

I'm going to do something mind numbing and when I get home very physical... and have a drink or 3 then just pass out.  Sounds like a plan doesn't it?  Maybe I'll call my neighbor - I'll drink wine she drinks other things that make me forget things... I don't like that.  and neither does my head the next morning.

Signing off - boy-wonder-gov guy need help... I may sneak that flask into work next week.

Panic Mayhem and other bits of stupidity...

Work is nuts right now and with all the other piles of swirling mess... life is busy.

Busy is good, Busy keeps the crazy at bay, Busy is busy and it allows for one's head to hit one's pillow and NOT contemplate the stupid stuff you did 15 years ago.

I have been running a day ahead all week, Tuesday I thought it was Wednesday, Wednesday was Thursday and finally today is Thursday.  I think.

Another day; no nibbles on the job front... I go through this every time I look for a job - but this is more -- more. I think the daily checking is what is making me nuts, but when I got a link to "next step" I want to be on top of those... so I check.

And I see all the crap spam that want me to be an Uber driver or intake specialist at a nursing home... Aunt Ing don't do nothing relating to bodily functions.

I will keep searching, my company boss mentioned Morgantown, WV... urg... 45 minute drive easy.  Not real sure I want to do that --- but I'll leave my options open.

What other choice do I have?  Options open is default right now.

On a job rant... I have been the one crunching numbers and doing all the budgeting stuff of the next fiscal year but when the powers up the hall want something then send it to my idiot PM and don't copy contractors - you know the ones doing the work!  So I get these messages the next day for reporting data that was due the night before... so I send a message - sorry just got this -- here you go.  Which I know... is going to piss off the woman up front - deal pumpkin, send the data to the folks who actually show up and do the job - not the ones getting paid to hide in his office.
/End Rant/

Maybe.

Actually it has to be because I need to get the rest of the charge numbers and resource hours populated and documented before brother useless returns from a meeting so I can hold his hand and explain to him "his numbers".

How am I NOT qualified for that government position in PA???

I don't check enough boxes -- walking talking human is too vague.  ;-)
Thanks for listening.

Just exactly what AM I qualified to do...

I hate looking for a job - even within my network built over too many years to count, with the cool ticket that is hard to get - I got it -- when you move away from the area where said network and cool ticket cred reside... you are --- stuck.

I have skills - granted they aren't the super up-to-the-minute ones... but skills nonetheless..

They aren't buying me anything right now -- I need feedback people!  An acknowledgement that I exist in your vast employment database!!!

Yeah just a bit desperate for human communication these days.

I am trying not to let the details overwhelm me --- they have gotten the better of me lately and I'm battling back the crazy.  We will have to talk to co-workers to see if I'm succeeding.  I fear not.

I am stuck right now -- every time I think I have a plan I think something else is coming from another angle.  I warned Bubba that meltdowns would occur... I just need to have them when he's around... which isn't much.  Bastard.  He is indeed leaving this all up to me.  I cannot do this alone.

Ah screw it -- this is not me!  I HATE the drama the crap and I need to dig out from under.

One day, step, hour, list at the time....

For the record Craig's list is hell, Let go doesn't work and I am daily questioning my fellow human.

Moving on... Bubba called on his way into work, he doesn't get why I would be having meltdowns - "all you have to do is put stuff on Craig's list"... and deal with every other FREAKING detail.

And he's "concerned" about getting the house sold before I have a job... really jackass?  Yes we will have to dip into our savings a bit to cover a couple of months - WHY is he the only one who has such a hard time with this... cheap jackass - that's why.

I am ticking down the list of folks I have told we're moving... there are a handful of folks I need to tell personally... I should start sending out lunch invites.  Won't that be fun?  Actually everyone has been pretty cool about it all, and my big concern with Rainbow is now just another list of things I must do... another list... I need a binder - oh wait I have one...

Oh just shoot me.

Back to my day job - which isn't nearly as much fun this week either... I had budgeting and government accounting is the worst.