Oh boys and girls what I night Aunt Ing had last night. And not in the "here hold my beer" kinda way oh no...
I needed groceries - did I just pop up the road and get what I needed? No I'm a dork, ordered on line at Wal-Mart 25 minutes up the road and went to pick it up in the middle of rush hour.
Mistake 1. Rush hour traffic, and it was raining. So double fun. Add in it's been raining for days, roads were closed, trees down - what in my idiot brain decided this was a good idea? We may never know.
Pick up was the easy part of the night, phone, deliver, go.
Mistake 2. Talking to Bubba... that started before I got caught in rush hour traffic as he announced he was on his way home 90 minutes earlier than previously stated, and thereby screwing up my well planned slip in and out and done.
There was also the standard whining about spending money on food. Yes, you read that right. My darling husband on a regular basis complains about the amount and cost of the food purchased for our in home consumption. Apparently he's still working on the magic fairies theory of food gathering, prep and clean up. This is the same man who gets cranky when he has to feed himself... like nuking leftovers... nope - still not kidding.
I am counting on living with Bubba and his 'proclivities' is off setting all the other not-so-virtuous aspects of my personality. Yeah - let's go with that.
SO--- I am headed back down the highway opposite of the out of the city traffic thinking - all good. also know as Mistake 3. Traffic came to a crawl... I saw a sign up ahead, after seeing several emergency type vehicles going by the sign said... "Road closed use ALT route"
Yes words were said - and yes, they were football words in a non-football setting. The mistakes at this point were racking up at such a rate I frankly stopped counting. So, got off blocked highway and starting winding my way through back roads that kept leading me back to the same highway. So I want one stop north which was the first smart thing I did, then of course I screwed that up, thinking I could zip around a couple of blocks - which ended up with me heading BACK to the same blasted closed highway - turned around, back on the slow crawl road home that if I had STAYED on in the first place would have probably shaved off 45 minutes but we'll keep that between us bytes.
Of course I call Bubba at on-set of directional/ traffic/ going no where in a hurry mess. Is he helpful? Is he concerned? No I get yelled about my dumb idea (beat him to the punch there) and then asked, so I guess I should eat something? No dumb ass sit and starve. Yes, eat. He said since I was going shopping he thought I was cooking. Get Real. No, the plan was leftovers - eat it and shut it.
So 2.5 hours after I left my humble abode.. I returned. Bubba is still breathing, and I found out why my 25 minute ride home when so very very wrong. Apparently there was a flood on the road, to such a degree that one car had to have a water rescue - FROM THE HIGHWAY -- the water was up to the jersey wall... so at least I wasn't the one having to be plucked from the great PGH highway of 2019.
Tonight will be much less dramatic... I hope. I'm not driving. :-)
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